It may surprise you, how similar, joyful married couples are as a group, as it concerns their daily interactions together. Their individual yet similar interactions, continue to warm each other’s heart. It does not matter their background or age, they have these traits in common.
1 - Happy couples share personal details about embarrassing situations in their life.
That's right, they aren't afraid to laugh at themselves or help their partner overcome a sensitive situation in their life.
Remember when you were first dating? You became more and more transparent, right? So why clam up now? Be willing to share your life with each other, even the red-faced moments which occur can provide avenues for increased intimacy.
Couples in our seminars share lots of ideas about their lives and even sometimes about embarrassing ones. You know what this does for them? It knits a more personal atmosphere between all the folks in the room. Yes, we do silly things every now and then. When a person becomes emotionally transparent in a healthy fashion, other people feel more comfortable around them. This is especially true in your marriage between spouses.
In your marriage share what happens in your life away from each other, the good and the silly. Watch how much of a bonding experience this conversation provides.
2 - Happy couples share their fears and insecurities with each other.
When you open yourself to your partner, they move closer in trust to your inner world. So what are your worries? Have you shared issues like these with your spouse?
To understand the dynamic impact from this openness, reverse the concept to perceive how you feel when your spouse shares something important that weighs heavily on their mind. You are drawn closer to them, because of your love, right? If you will be open towards them, you show trust towards them. This may take years to fully open up to your spouse about a very painful experience, however, the more you reveal from your personal life, the closer you two become.
Trust for each other’s heart, is valued highly by happy couples.
3 – Happy couples continue to grow their relationship revealing good childhood memories.
For a couple minutes, think of some incident or life experience you might not have shared with your spouse. This does not mean to were hiding it, it might be something you had placed in to recesses of your mind, which had not surfaced for a while.
Elaine and I had been married more than 14 years, when during a marriage seminar I was conducting, I shared an illustration where I was literally tossed into the river by my dad as he rowed away from me. That is how learned to swim! Sharing this story with the group offered my wife a new insight into my upbringing and how my dad often my brother or me, life lessons. This story was not covered in any of our numerous, intimate conversations together.
When the seminar was completed, my wife wanted more details for this hard “swimming lesson”. We talked about the "river shore-house" my family had enjoyed often, each summer. It was a new bonding experience and enjoyable to reflect together concerning memories from our childhood.
What stories have been tucked away in your heart which might form a stronger bond between you two? Bring them out and relate them to your best friend, to draw closer to each other.
To find a nugget like this one mentioned above. Pose a safe question to your spouse; perhaps during a date night discussion such as: “What are some of your most cherished childhood memories?” (When you hear one for the first time, ask that they expand the thoughts a bit more for you.)
Happy couples continue to share their personal lives with each other.
4 – Couples who enjoy their life together, share difficult stories about their childhood?
Many couples share early childhood experiences when they start dating and then drift away from this subject without really going in-depth fearing, they might endanger this new relationship. Certainly, they avoid traumatic problems from their past when the relationship is new.
While a couple will reminisce fun activities, enjoyed as a kid, feeling more comfortable in the relationship growth allows them to reveal painful memories as well, a little at a time. Going back through childhood memories can be fun, revealing and tying hearts together stronger. The same bonding experience is true for sharing painful incidents.
A person who had a difficult childhood, shares these problem moments will bond them closer to each other, as they peel back the layers which formed their life. A person may find new personal interests or perhaps areas of pain to help their spouse heal, which in turn draws them closer to each other.
Some folks feel they are helping their relationship by holding out some dark secret, yet when you feel your relationship has grown enough, sharing these past problems will draw you closer.
If it is a very scary issue, it may be a time to have a counselor help overcome the trauma, while you open up to each other.
Transparency is a tremendous uniting process.
5 – These couples share their future dreams together.
Possibly start this line of conversations:
"If time and money were no obstacle, what would you be doing?"
"If you could achieve your biggest childhood dream, what would it look like?"
"What might be three wishes if you could have them?"
Dream together: What would your life look like if .....”
The bottom line is happy couples enjoy talking with each other, frequently sharing their mind, pleasantries, and problems. They would rather spend time together than apart. Intimate conversations bind couples together and produce an pleasant happy home life.
How would you answer this question: "In our marriage, what do we talk about on our
date nights or even at home together most of the time?"
Make the sacrifice to intentionally find time in your schedule to have fun and share your hearts together. Invest in some one-on-one time with your sweetie just sharing life together. You'll be glad you did!
Practice these 5 stress-free Confidence boosters within your marriage conversations, which work as a magnet, drawing your hearts together.
Always Expect The Best From Your Marriage - as The Best Is Yet To Be!!!
Your friend and expert relationship coach -- Jerry Stumpf