Updated: Feb 16
Developing a happy marriage is simple, just not always easy.
Simple? You can direct your energies to meet your spouse's needs without expecting anything in return. That is a simple answer, but not practical since we have emotions and our own needs to be met, right?
Marriage is the ultimate give-and-take relationship. It consists of a working relationship where two people invest their life into each other. It is not simply two individuals sharing space together. Marriage is two people sharing their lives together for the betterment of each person.
Of course, not all couples are dedicated to a happy marriage. We see couples holler and fight with each other in public and wonder why folks want to live that way?
There is a peaceful alternative which allows each partner to thrive in the relationship and it is much more fun!
Since you want the very best life has to offer as a couple and are willing to invest some time and fun effort to be happier, this post is written to give practical ideas for you.
Here are 3 effective actions, to create the very best intimate relationship possible.
# 1 To develop a happy marriage, focus on the positive aspects of your spouse.
It might be easy, to think all is going downhill in your marriage if you two are having issues related to your communication skills. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
While reading this post, you will pick up a few constructive pointers to produce a better marriage relationship with your husband, one small piece at a time. Craft your relationship like a fine piece of art because that is what your marriage is, a gleaming piece of art and not a science project.
Compile a list of qualities you admire about him.
Is he a good leader for others or is kind and caring to your children?
What do you really like about him?
What drew you to him to even start dating him?
When you two were dating, what captivated you so much with him you kept dating him?
What makes you trust him like you do?
Does he make you laugh?
Why would you marry him all over again?
When you daydream about your husband, what pictures surface for you?
Does he have a cute way to say or ask something?
This is an expanding, continuous file, as you look for his exciting characteristics.
Difficulties are smaller when each spouse is seeking the other persons best interest. Pull together
instead of pulling against each other.
In point # 2, you will apply the ideas you are accumulating above.
# 2 - Discover fun and sometimes sneaky methods, to share
your feelings with your husband and accentuate his
Text your husband 2 of the answers from the questions above to share (nice) comments to him at least weekly.
Instead of just his first name, include heart touching names such as your “hero” “Stud” or other words which you know makes his chest stick out a bit more. Keep in mind it is to appeal to his nature.
Is there something you look forward to when he walks through the front door? Tell him!
Hide a note in his briefcase, lunchbox, toolbox or wherever he is sure to find your little gift during his workday.
Be creative but remember a co-worker may also see his note so don’t be too intimate!
It is up to you how much or how little you place or imply in your message!
Write a quick note on a bathroom mirror in erasable marker and change the note every so often.
This is the place to make sexual suggestions where no one else will discover your thoughts.
If you have children, come up with a "cover word" which speaks to a sexual rendezvous planned.
This is also an easier method for a wife who would like to initiate sex but does not feel comfortable saying it. Be creative and have tons of fun!
This room has lots of space on the shower walls and on the mirror for illustrations, hearts,
and love notes!
# 3 – Schedule a weekend away for just the two of you to focus on your marriage.
I have an entire (Free for now) eBook dedicated to this subject, a weekend-a-way. Email me for details! PepUpYourMarriage@hotmail.com
Now don't panic, there are a few fairly inexpensive alternatives for you two to escape if funds are low and other romantic get-a-ways if you can afford it.
Camping is a fun way to get him back to nature. You can tent, pop-up camper or RV. Any way to get away from the normal grind is fun. Many campgrounds provide cabins for rent. You take your own bedding and food provisions, but it is still camping.
Check for hotel coupons nearby your house. Often, hotels offer discounts during "off-season" to lure customers in. You can utilize a coupon book found by state at rest stops along the interstate.
Bed-and-breakfast is an inexpensive alternative. Again, off-season makes a good time to find discounts.
Some places have log cabins for rent. These require you to provide your own bedding and food, yet it is camping.
With a bit of extra leg work, you can locate resorts which will try to sell time-shares. If you can say no to them, they will "comp" you a weekend to investigate their property.
The main focus is to change up your routine and spent the time dedicated to each other.
A few ground rules, which must be discussed ahead of time, will make the weekend go much smoother.
Leave your cell phones in your car or at least turned off or on silent, for the weekend. If you have children, whomever you have left the kids with, can deal with most situations, since that is why you trust them with your children. Leave them a permission slip to administer or grant first aid for the children. List kid's names, your insurance numbers and any allergies. Be sure to sign and date the form.
The purpose for the weekend is to focus on your marriage, therefore, slow walks, cuddling, and games, to enhance your fun together is the high priority. I have many open-ended questions which facilitate separate topics for you to pick from and enhance your verbal communication. Email me at PepUpYourMarriage@hotmail.com for some suggestions.
IF you plan on extra sexual activity, plan accordingly. Take whatever supplies you need to enhance your physical time.
To entice your hubby to take the time and agree on the ground rule, mention some of the sexual activities you have planned, and hint at a bit more! Remember, most men are very sexual oriented. If you don't have any good books on married sexuality, there are lots to choose from, on Amazon. This should be a special time for you two to leisurely invest into your relationship.
Be creative and schedule the time to really focus on crafting your relationship into the best it can possibly become.
The main point here is to separate yourselves from the world for a two or three day "honeymoon again".
Use a little creativity to make it a wonderful experience for you to talk, pray, have leisure sex, or hot sex, give each other massages, feed each other dinner, etc. Enjoy each other and be sure to spend time talking about your particular marriage future and how to make it sizzle!
Tell me what you think in the comments section or generate some questions, concerning a weekend-A-Way!
Print out this post and discuss it with your husband. Ask him/her to let you know what he thinks about each part of this discussion.
Always Expect The Best From Your Marriage - as The Best Is Yet To Be!!!
Your friend and relationship coach -- Jerry Stumpf
I am also working on a targeted subject newsletter for wives. Keep checking on here to discover how to sign up for it!