10 Super Easy Recipes For Your Marriage? (Updated)

Updated: May 4

Craving means: great or eager desire; yearning.

Synonyms are: Hunger, appetite, hankering, passion, yearning, longing among others.

What do you hunger for in your relationship with your husband? A couple of these points may seem mundane to you, yet if you apply them to your relationship, you will discover areas inside your husband's heart which will respond more than you would have believed possible.

Since men and women process information differently, try the suggestions I generated for you to wiggle a bit deeper into his heart!

The key is finding how to discover his cravings and learn to effectively satisfy each other's "hunger tingles".

Try to apply all 10 ideas to your marriage!

1 - Open and transparent communication.

This means each spouse has the opportunity, freedom and comfort to ask questions, share thoughts or just listen to their spouse.

No topic is "off the table" and not allowed to be discussed. This takes maturity from both spouses yet it is necessary for a growing relationship. Just being together for many years does not indicate a healthy, vibrant comfortable marriage. To be truly happy, and avoid marriage counseling or marriage therapy, it is important you two can freely talk about anything when the time is right. By "time is right" I mean when you two are not checking cel phones, chasing the kids or finishing some home project.

Set the stage for open conversations daily if at all possible. You may want to simply spend a few minutes really catching up with each other every day. However, when you want to discuss some very important topic, you should feel comfortable enough to schedule a decent block of time with no electronic or other outside disturbances.

2 - Active listening where you are both tuned in to your spouse’s needs.

For your husband, this means he listens to understand and is not listening to answer or correct you or to solve your problems without being asked to do that.

For you to listen how your husband need you to listen means he wants feedback and solutions, not simply an attentive mind and ear with a nod or or frown. Your husband does not listen as you do and you do not listen as he does. You both have to realize the other's requirements to feel actually heard.

Men and women each need to learn how to listen with the opposite sex’s mindset. Women take in words, process them and reflect their inner feelings about the message they heard. Man listen to the words and work to solve the problems or fix their mate. Both ways are legitimate yet vastly different. Whichever gender you are, try to see life through their eyes.

3 - Build easy access bridges for each other, not dividing walls.

Hunt for methods to establish a firm connection between both minds and hearts. Be proactive to do whatever it takes to tear down any negative walls that would keep you from pressing forward in your marriage. Walls get erected easily yet they are hard to dismantle. Bridges connect two sides of a situation.

Ask open ended questions which search deeply into his mind, yet which still do not embarrass him:

a. What are five ways I can show you how much I appreciate you as my husband?

b. If I gave more of something meaningful to me, what would you want me to give you?

c. Where would your ultimate vacation or weekend get-a-way look like?

d. If I promised I would not get upset with you, what is something you have always

wanted to talk about with me?

4 - Be romantic the way your spouse needs you to be.

Men and women define and construct romance differently. Women see romance as kind gestures, thoughtful words, small notes and any love messages in their specific love language. Men see romance as always leading to sex. Not when you two are engaged in a sexual activity but they misinterpret any gesture, touch or slight hint, as you guiding him towards a sexual activity.

Your husband has most likely never been told about non-sexual touching. Therefore, you can open a new world to him if you honestly and openly discuss how you define “Non-Sexual Touching”. Men do not understand this term at all until their wife explains what it is and how and how often you need daily affection.

You can use me and this post as the catalyst to your discussion. You might say to him, "Honey, as I was reading this post today, this fellow mentioned men don't often know what non-sexual touching is. Is that a strange term for you?" Let him squirm a bit then take him off the hook and continue, "Just we understand each other, non-sexual touching for me is (holding hands, kissing, warm hugs, ..." Let him know when you approach him or rub his arm you are not necessarily hinting to get "busy" in the bedroom!

Men have never been good at mind reading or discerning our wife's hints!

5 - Meet each other's sexual needs.

Let's go this direction to open the discussion so your husband knows exactly when you want to be sexual with him.

We are different as males and females and your drives are unequal. Typically in a marriage one is a high drive and the other a low drive individual. About 20% of marriages see the wife as high drive and then 80% of all marriages has the man as the high drive spouse. Neither situation is wrong, we as male and female are just mismatched. It is up to the two of them to discover how to meet each other's physical needs. There is no normal amount of times for sex which you have to rise to or fall below. If you two desire to enjoy each other every day, then that is “normal” for you. If it is weekly or once a month, then that is normal for you. However, my caution is that one spouse may only “need” sexual release or physical intimacy once a month and their spouse may crave it daily, be kind to one another and discuss it openly and find a way through manual or oral stimulation to relieve your spouse of their frustrations. Unmet expectations will wreck a marriage. Express your needs and listen to your spouse - refer to the above notes in number 4!

The important point here is to be open as to how often one of you wants sex and how to gently, openly and lovingly alert each other.

6 - Learn to meet and serve each other's necessary individual desires

Ask your spouse these questions on a regular basis:

“What can I do this week to make your week go better?”

"Is there something I can do to help you feel better?"

The answers may be active listening with a method to resolve and issue. It may be more sexual activity. It could be going away from all electronic devices once a week as a date night to emotionally reconnect.

Whatever you both cherish, be sure to connect to each other often as your spouse feels it necessary for their well being.

7 - Take out a sheet of paper (or print out the attachment below) and begin to write out up to at least 26 qualities you see, admire, respect or love about your spouse.

25 OF MY SPOUSES Qualities
Download PDF • 7KB

Make it public, not on your phone. Post them is a very public spot. Ours are on our refrigerator in the kitchen. We can both see them often. Guests to our home see them. This one is often neglected but can will create a huge impact as an activity you two can do for each other.

Next write each line on a small slip of paper, or on 3X5 cards, each separately, to be used one a day as gentle reminders of your devotion to each other. As you use one idea per card make it also your daily task to tell at least 7 different people that one wonderful quality about your spouse with no “but” clause. That is I would not say, “My wife is very smart, BUT does not know how to talk to other people!” As she reads this post, she knows I have never spoken about her in this tacky, negative fashion.

I have made a very long list of her wonderful qualities. Once I make her a very personal birthday gift entitled “Here Are 366 Thanksgiving Reasons For You, so you know how grateful I am about you!” I bound it and wrapped it and gave it to her. I openly brag on her abilities often. She is my favorite person and we have a great marriage.

I suggest beginning with 25!

8 - Read GOOD, HELPFUL marriage books together.

Be sure to take the time to use two different colored markers to highlight them. A suggestion for reading together: use two different colored highlighters; pink for ladies and blue for men. When you see Purple, it is something both feel is important. Take your time working through each book, discussing how to apply the ideas to your relationship.

A very brief beginning list would include:

Love & Respect - Eggeriches,

5 Love Languages - Chapman,

Becoming the Woman of His Dreams - Jaynes,

Sex begins In The Kitchen - Leman,

Communication Key To Your Marriage - Wright.

Click the underlined title which is my affiliate link for these books on Amazon.

9 - Take an annual weekend get-a-way at a hotel (bed & breakfast is not so private) and concentrate the entire time on your marriage.

If you want specific couple building exercises or open-ended questions to facilitate deeper intimacy, send me an email and ask for my "Marriage Get-A-Way" free eBook. PepUpYourMarriage@hotmail.com

10 - Ask each other these heart opening questions often.

You will discover you each changing your answers over time:

What are 5 dreams you have for our marriage in the next 10 years?

If we could go on a dream trip, where would YOU like to go?

If we could work on and conquer any 2 - 3 areas of our marriage this coming year, what would you say those might be?

Who do you know that would make a great mentor couple for us?

Who could we mentor that has been married for less time than us?

These are fun tasks to work on! Be patient with each other and enjoy every single day together.


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Read other posts on this Happy Marriage 101 blog: 3 Intimate Enchanting Components to Tenderly Nourish Your Marriage Bond

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